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another "not happy" dreams this morning and evening : /

haihh

hushed nights inside heart

Do you know how it feels when you wake up and started missing the person you can't have?

Brain can't stop thinking and wondering and imagine , blood moving fast inside arteries, aorta carries and distributes oxygen rich blood, heart is pumping hard and harder, lungs expand and contract vigorously. You feel sad and lonely. sometimes, you smile because of memories but you still feel sad. The empty side inside your heart , some parts are crumbled down and some parts are still standing but fragile. That is hope. hoping something is nearly impossible.

When the heavy winds collided, you feel the pain. lungs expand and contract, heart is pumping slow and slower, blood moving slowly inside arteries and brain can't stop produce more memories to feed the pain. You feel like someone is pulling your heart's string every second. When you can't take it anymore you cry wishing the pain will go away.

This is how i felt every time i missed you.I infrequently crying outside but crying inside, always.

Just want to say Happy Thirty-two months sayang. I hope you are happy with your life. Take care, I love you so much. oh I miss you so much (:

until next time,

helmi.

smaller than ants

Appreciate small things.because from small things turn into big and bigger.

twilight in a ball room

What would you do if you woke up at 3 am in the morning ?

As me for today, I would reminisced us and our past. The memories I collected with you. I found a Birthday card I received around 4 January 2008. I like your handwriting it is small and unique. Beautiful.

Do you remember the first time we dance together ?

We were trying to imitate Edward and Bella dancing at ball. How you step on my foot and we were moving in awkward ways while trying to create a music by humming. You might say "ewww" when you read this. hahaha. As for me, It was fun and seeing you smiling like that it would be my pleasure to dance with you again dear :)

Climbing climber

I need 6 months to prove myself that I'm worth it.

wish me luck .

In the mean time, I will try my best not to break this beautiful bond.